One night, in a faraway land, a young man named Rish! fell asleep dreaming of a place called ‘Wonderland’. He slept better than ever before and dreamed of Brexit fairies, freeports, Barbie/Penny dolls and all things nice.

“Finally a proper nights sleep thanks to a few pills from Mum’s pharmacy”

When he grew up he saw his dream in Tim Burton’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and he wished he was there. It was such a nice, happy-go-lucky kind of place, full of joy and colour and the fresh bounce of spring.

Who needs Barbie when you can have Rish-Alice!

As he slept his sweet dream transitioned into ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’. He was engulfed by endless climate-induced rain and floods. The pretty Penny fairies became Mordaunt, Patel, Braverman dark fairies - for in his nightmare he was the British Prime Minister. And it seemed his time would soon be up. He was trapped on a big boat crashing against rocks. Colleagues were scurrying about him trying to escape.

“These rats - why can’t they just love me?”

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The dark fairies hounded him with letters and threats and all things not nice. They threatened to remove him from his fantasy pink bedroom and let ‘Penny’ have a go. Desperate, he jumped onto a small boat named ‘Shrinkflation’ and charged down the river Thames looking for his way back to Wonderland.

Suddenly, Rish! awoke with relief - the bedroom was still pink, the sheets silk and his beautiful wife asleep by his side. But a clanging could be heard on the streets outside. The newsboy was shouting headlines - “Tories Routed”. It was the nightmare on Local Election Street! Coming to a TV screen near you.

These characters are fictional and in no way represent actual, real life politicians - we think…

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A Conservative parties in Wonderland and…