Keir Starmer’s ‘Freebies Vault’ Exposed: The PM’s Latest Secret Stash Scandal

Cartoon: Starmer, donors and how not to start a premiership

The scandal around freebies from donors engulfing the British PM has taken another twist. A man, suspiciously resembling Keir Starmer, was caught 'on-cartoon' stuffing his pockets in a secret ‘freebies’ vault tucked away in No.10 Downing Street. Realising he was being watched, the "Prime Minister of Swag" made a dash for it, leaving behind a trail of goodies that Imelda Marcos and Liberace would be proud of.

When asked, the PM's office "politely declined to comment" (or, you know, hid in the vault).

---

Insiders say Finance Minister Rachel Reeves has been snooping around, asking if any of the vault's secret cash could help plug the black hole in the government’s finances. Word is, she even hit up the King for a loan, only for him to ice her - turns out keeping his palaces toasty costs a royal fortune, and he was really counting on those heating allowances. Aren’t we all.

As Westminster tightens its belt, at least someone’s still enjoying the high life - one "donation" at a time!

Keir in the secret 'freebies' vault. Nice gear...

The British PM realises he's being watched. He takes off with his prized Arsenal tickets in hand.

He's got some roadrunner legs on him, getting away faster than you can say 'raise taxes'.

---

Keep up to date with The Letts Journal’s latest news stories and posts at our website and on twitter.