The Year in 2024: Predictions, Permutations and Procrastinations
2024 will be another mad, wrecking ball of a year - here's what you can expect.
2023 is nearly over and it's time for the great minds at The Letts Journal to predict the way the wind (not methane) is going to blow in 2024. It’s likely to fire up a storm - meaning we’ll need more blow (a 2023 comeback) to smash this one right out of the Golan Heights. It looks like next year will be another blockbuster.
Predictions for 2024:
Donald Trump steals all the headlines - again. In 2016 he turned the outrageous into headlines into an election win and it looks like he’s doing it again. Turning up at law courts across the US East Coast will prove to be the big electoral heist for the ex-President’s campaign and a new model campaign tactic. Every court case, and he has too many to count, will prove the old adage that ‘there’s no such thing as bad press’. Unless, of course, you’re George Santos. We predict Trump to pip Biden at the next election unless Biden switches to Melania as his running mate.
Putin takes the edge in the battle for Ukraine. Proving the next adage which is that bullies never lose (or is it never win?). The Russian leader will turn the tide in Ukraine and build a wall around the Donetsk, Kherson, Luhansk, Zaporizhzhia and Crimea to halt any likelihood of a still much-vaunted counter attack. In return Zelensky will keep firing his generals because firing missiles gets too expensive once the US money disappears faster than a P45 at OpenAI.
Sam Altman leaves OpenAI again. Proving there’s never 2 without a 3, the board at OpenAI dump their charismatic energizer bunny of a leader for a second time only to hire him back for a third. This time because Warren Buffett (with Charlie Munger gone) figures out the easiest way to make more money in 2024 (Christ, when’s enough enough?) is by posting OpenAI debt short selling tips and tricks on ChatGPT. The bots get convinced to fire their leader with another bogus job offer - this time on Mars - just before the SpaceX blows up and he gets re-hired - firing the value of its debt right back up and shooting Warren to the top of the super rich list. Is he ever not?
SpaceX rockets keep blowing up. Which might prove an interesting analogy for all things ‘X’? Buffett invests in Threads.
AI is literally everywhere until one day ‘content’ gets a smart-brain of its own and tells us who wrote it. Then the whole generative AI bubble thingy explodes at the speed of light/SpaceX/Madoff under the weight of a billion lawsuits making Buffett’s short sell (see prediction 3.) even more genius. As a result the venture capital industry collapses and Buffett pumps his winnings into LettsCore.
Hamas buys Tesla robots to fight the war in Gaza given most of their real life soldiers get wiped out. This diversification helps to prop up Elon Musk and X during the exodus of advertisers. Israel says they will keep blitzing Gaza until all the robots are gone. Tesla gets shorted by Warren. Trump pushes a Gaza recovery plan similar to his North Korean plan. He’s a builder after all and there’s all that beautiful coast line. It goes down about as well as it did with Kim Jung-Un.
COP agrees to a drawdown of fossil fuel use. China finally approves the reduction in oil because it is pumping enough renewables to take over OPEC. Warren invests in both Xi and X accidentally thinking they’re the same thing. Are they?
Wilding your garden becomes the new cool mostly because robots take over all our jobs and yet for some inexplicable reason they can’t figure out how to get wildflower seeds to take. Does anyone?
Sunak gets ousted by Starmer as the next British Prime Minister and looks mighty sullen because he never actually got to win a national election which he swiftly blames on Boris Johnson and appearing at the bottom of this list. He moves to LA and gets caught in a wildfire.
Our 10th prediction is up to you (‘cos crowdsourcing is cool). Put it in a comment!
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